Today, we are not only going to look at a reveal that takes place in A Little Christmas: Ajay's Secret, but also a bonus, follow-up scene not included in the original book. This bonus scene was inspired by a reader who wanted to see how Walker would react if he ever met the person who threw away Ajay's beloved toy. It's a secret Ajay has been holding on to and keeping from his roommates, though not the big 'secret' that the title refers to. It's first brought up between Shanny and Ajay when they were on the roof of the house talking and went like this:

“I always mess up.”

“No, you don’t, stop saying that, it isn’t true,” Ajay said. “Besides, he was supposed to be watching out for you and he let you have all those Swedish fish and the Sour Patch Kids too.”

“Yeah, and cupcakes and juice and caramel corn and regular popcorn with a bunch of extra butter and cheese,” Shanny muttered. “Was just tryin’ to taste as much as I could ‘cause we never get that stuff.”

“I know. There were just so many things to choose from, the table was so bright, and everything looked so good.”

Shanny groaned, sounding positively wretched. “Yeah, just not in reverse.”

“Next time, we should ask Walker to warn your Daddy not to let you have so much. I’m sure he will if we remind him.”

“I don’t think I want there to be a next time,” Shanny said. “I’m too embarrassed to go back.”

“You weren’t the only one who got sick, Cara did too.”

“Yeah, but she has a real Mommy who held her hair back and cooed to her and tried to make everything better.”

“Didn’t Riggs?”

“Sorta, maybe. He didn’t ditch me but I’m pretty sure that was only ‘cause he told Walker he’d take care of me.”

“You liked laying on him, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, and I loved the way he asked Sparkles how she enjoyed the movie and didn’t just treat her like she wasn’t real,” Shanny said.

“I wish I still had a stuffy like Sparkles,” Ajay muttered, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried not to think about what had happened to his beloved stuffed toy.

Shanny scooted so he could put his head on Ajay’s shoulder, the night having grown a bit colder as they lay there holding one another beneath the stars. “Why’d you get rid of Animal, he was cool.”

“I didn’t,” Ajay said softly. “Henry took him.”

“What! That fucker! Why?”

“’Cause he thought I was too old to still have a stuffed animal and felt like it was feeding into me wanting to be little.”

“Oh my god, Angel would have killed him if he’d found out.”

“I know, that’s why I didn’t say anything. Wasn’t worth killing him when he’d already thrown Animal in the trash and couldn’t give him back.”

Shanny hugged him and let loose an impressive stream of curses to describe exactly how he felt about Henry.

“I wish I’d never met him,” Ajay admitted. “He was such an ass. I miss curling up with Animal at night when Walker calls to read to me.”

“We have got to find you another one.”

“I’ve tried looking online, but none of them look right,” Ajay admitted. “They’re all so thin and flat looking I don’t think they’d cuddle good. Mine was perfect for snuggling with.”

“Then we’ll have to keep looking,” Shanny said. “Maybe Walker can help. I bet he knows a bunch of different toy stores with all the advertising he does.”

“No, no, no,” Ajay said. “You can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“’Cause it’s not his problem and I don’t need him thinking I want him to get stuff for me,” Ajay explained.

“But…it’s almost Christmas.”

“So?”

“Don’t you think he’d want to get you a present you’d like?”

“If he gets me anything, I’ll like it ‘cause it’s from him and he thought enough about me to do it,” Ajay explained.

So, after this conversation took place, Ajay figured the matter had been dropped. Only Shanny never has been one to just let things alone, especially when it concerns one of his friends. So, this happened:

“How about you open this one next?” Walker said, holding out a package wrapped in bright, blue and silver snowflakes.

“Ohhh, what is it?” Ajay asked as he turned the package over in his hands.

“If I told you that, it would ruin the surprise. You have to open it and see.”

That little pink tongue came poking out from between Ajay’s lips as he slid his dug his nails into the paper and ripped it free of the plain white box Walker had placed his present in. He’d tapped it up well too, meaning Ajay had to pick at the tape to get it open. He was practically bouncing in anticipation by the time he got one side open and tried to peek inside, but tissue paper blocked the view, forcing him to turn his attention to the next taped end.

“You’re a menace with a tape dispenser,” Ajay muttered beneath his breath.

“Is that you sassing Daddy?”

“Uh-huh,” Ajay said, tape sticking to his fingers as he got the second side of the stiff box untapped and still couldn’t see anything.

At that point, Walker had to laugh at the scowl Ajay gave that box and the way he finally just decided to try and pull the two sides apart, wrestling with them for a moment before the cardboard gave way. A tissue paper-wrapped lump fell into his lap and Ajay pawed at it with the frantic enthusiasm of a child, gasping when the object was revealed.

For a moment, his boy froze, fingers trembling as he reached for the stuffed animal he’d revealed.

“Oh. My. God.” His words came out in hesitant whispers as he snatched it up and clutched it to his chest. “Animal!”

Chuckling, Walker simply sat back and enjoyed the sight of his boy with a huge grin on his face and his stuffy held tight in his arms. He was rocking it, the rest of the world forgotten as he clung to that toy.

“H-how,” he whispered as much to himself as Walker. “He’s…I couldn’t…I tried to find one…and you…how did you know?”

His boy nearly fell over trying to spin around and Walker suddenly found himself with his arms full of Ajay, who’d crushed their lips together, his tongue invading Walker’s mouth as he kissed him with an almost mind-bending passion. He could taste the tears on Ajay’s lips, and knew they were joyful ones, the stuffed toy pressed between them as Ajay thanked him in between kisses; wonder, awe, and joy peppering his tone.

“Shanny,” Walker told him when he could finally focus and Ajay had scooted back just enough that they were staring into each other’s eyes. “He told me what happened, though I really wish you would have.”

“I…” Ajay lowered his gaze and hugged Animal again, muttering so softly Walker couldn’t hear.

That wasn’t gonna fly with him, so he cupped Ajay beneath his chin and gently raised it until their eyes locked again.

“Speak up, please,” Walker urged.

His boy gave a little shrug, squirmed, and clung to his toy. “Didn’t want you to feel like you needed to fix something that wasn’t your problem.”

“Oh, my dear, sweet boy. Your problems are now my problems,” Walker insisted. “Especially when it comes to something that hurt you.”

And now for the bonus scene!

The dining room was packed, even with the extra tables and chairs Ren had added, and several people had already been turned away at the door. Word of Ajay’s playing had spread and over the past few weeks there had been scores of people frequenting the place that weren’t members of the kink club located below it.

According to Ren, the number of membership applications had grown too, as people who hadn’t known about the place suddenly began to find it. The vetting process was a long one, so few had been approved. Ren, however, was more than pleased just to see the applications roll and had twice now increased what he paid Ajay per performance due to how big of a draw he’d become.

He was playing his final song of the night, a haunting little ballad he’d written called Postcards from the Second Circle.

The look on his boy’s face when Walker got it right away and asked if he’d read The Inferno in school or for his own pleasure. The conversation that had emerged as they lay sprawled together on Walker’s couch, about how Ajay had found a battered copy in a used bookstore and read it together with Shanny. Afterwards, they’d found an anime to watch that helped them understand it better and not long after that, Ajay had started working on the song. It had taken him months to polish the lyrics and sharpen up the melody to get it performance ready, and tonight, he was publicly debuting the song.

Walker had been treated to a private unveiling of it several nights before, when his boy had nervously settled on the floor in front of him with his guitar and started playing the introduction. The deep, rich melody had immediately drawn Walker in, and as he looked around the room, he saw the heavy-lidded gazes and the way people swayed in their seats.

The lyrics were a mix of dark and erotic images. While Walker could appreciate the erotic, the darkness was hard to reconcile with the sparkling brightness and boundless energy that was his boy, but there was a beauty to it that was undeniable, and it was clear that the folks in that dining room saw it too.

arch like cats and writhe
against everything slipping
from secret pleasure to treasure
warm caramel wetness
to cinnamon spice, a trail
of broken promises,
like wrappers

litter the sidewalk behind us,
we lick, we suck, we moan, we fuck

devouring one another
burning the souls of generations
born with nothing,
left barren, heading nowhere
yet wanting everything.

That last line. Ohhh that last line. Walker stared transfixed at the look on Ajay’s face and the closed-eyed serenity that let him sink fully into a performance. That want, that needy desperation mingled with the image of a trail of trash littering the pavement, that all created an image made even more powerful by Ajay’s delivery. As that final note faded and the room erupted into applause, Walker’s soul focus was Ajay, the shimmer of tears in his eyes, and the way his sleeveless t-shirt clung to his sweaty skin.

As soon as he descended those stairs, Walker greeted him with a kiss, then pressed an open water bottle into his hand, cool, but not cold, and slipped an arm around him while he drank it. The moment he was finished, Walker began guiding him to the booth where Ren, Leith, and their meal awaited. It had taken a bit of trial and error for Walker to figure out how many songs away from the end of the set he needed wait for before he put in the order for their food so it didn’t come out too soon and get cold waiting for Ajay to finish.

A few feet from the table, someone stepped into their path. Expecting it to be someone wanting to praise Ajay’s performance, he was ill prepared for Ajay to freeze and let out a little hiss. It was all the response Walker needed to clue him in that Ajay knew the person.

“Moving up in the world, I see,” the man said, focus dialed in on Ajay while treating Walker as if he was invisible. “You sounded pretty good up there.”

“He was amazing,” Walker said, bristling at the way the man downplayed Ajay’s talents. “And after the performance he just gave, I know he’s hungry too, so if you’ll excuse us…”

When Walker moved to guide Ajay around him, the man stepped right back into their path.

“I’ve missed you,” the man began, stepping closer.

“Yeah, well I haven’t missed you, Henry, so fuck off!”

The moment he heard the man’s name, a haze of red descended over Walker’s vision and the same empty calm that had come over him in the bar the night he’d laid into the man who’d left a bruise on Ajay’s cheek, struck him full force and he gave Ajay a little squeeze.

“Go join Ren and Leith. I’ll be there in a moment.”

He felt Ajay stiffen beneath his hand, but he was a good boy and did as he was told without question, leaving Walker to turn the full focus of his attention on the man.

“I’m only going to say this once, so listen up and consider this the only warning you’ll ever receive from me,” Walker began. “Stay the fuck away from him and while you’re at it, stay the hell away from this club. If you’re angling for membership, don’t bother. You see the table Ajay is seated at?”

“Yeah, what about it.”

“Those men own this club and they will be given your name to add to the ‘no fly’ list. Consider yourself blackballed.”

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but…”

“I’m Ajay’s Daddy and the man who replaced the toy you took from him and threw away because you thought it would stop him from being little. It didn’t, by the way, but you did hurt him and that will never be acceptable to me. Now, this is a nice place, and I’d hate to mess it up bouncing your face off things, but if you ever approach him again, it isn’t going to matter where we are or how hard it is to get blood out of tablecloths. I will end you. Full stop. Now get the hell out of here.”

“You don’t tell me…” Henry began, only to have Sebastian, one of the matre’ des, settle a hand on his shoulder.

“Excuse me, sir, but the owners of this establishment have asked that you vacate it immediately. If you will please come with me to settle your bill, I will see you to the sidewalk.”

It was almost comical, the way Henry tried to jerk away from the hold Sebastion had on him, only to find he wasn’t going any damn place but the door. His eyes grew wide and even as he sputtered, Walker knew his part in it was over and stepped aside to let Sebastian do his thing.

“Bye Henry. Be a good boy and don’t forget what I said,” Walker called over his shoulder as he made his way to the table where his boy say watching him with a bright smile on his face and his hands in his lap as he waited for Walker to feed him.

That look of outrage on Henry’s face was priceless, especially when Walker gave him a little wave, then headed on over to feed his boy and spend the rest of the night spoiling him.

Walker Remington hates the holiday season. He didn't always feel that way, but tragedy has a way of changing things and making a man bitter. Carols, lights, the sight of people with their packages and bags all tip him over into Bah Humbug mode, that is, until Ajay comes along. With his piercings and wildly colored hair, he is everything Walker is not. Young, fun-loving, and on the hunt for a Daddy, something Walker has been before, and longs to be again, if only he'll stop sabotaging every chance he's offered.

A street musician longing to hit it big someday, Ajay McKerran sets up on corners all over the city, playing his guitar and bringing joy to people, especially with the carols he sings. When a chance meeting lands him a gig playing at a dinner club for kink-minded individuals, he never imagined it would land him in a space where he could safely explore things he's long desired. But is Walker the right Daddy for him or will the man prove to be as cold as the Baltimore winter Ajay ventures out to play in?

Each book in A Little Christmas is a standalone. But each boy is silly, unique, loveable, and downright adorable so why not read them all?