Thoughts from last weeks BDSM Writer's Con

I love to travel, though most times, travel for me means a tent and my pickup, the woods, a ton of trails and taking pictures. I’m not the most social person in the world, so the idea of getting out there and doing something that actually involves interacting with people can be a bit daunting. This year I vowed to do better though, this year, I actually signed up for some writing conferences, the first of which took place last week in Everett Washington.

Never in a million years did I imagine I would find myself at a BDSM writer’s conference. Me, the woman who blushes when she writes sex scenes and who generally tends to fade to black on scenes before they get to racy. Or did, before last November, when I sat down to tackle my NaNo story “Burning Luck” and had the characters take the story places that had me blushing way more than normal. There was a part of me who said we’d just tuck the story away, never show it to anyone, let it be for my eyes only, but there was another part who was very proud of Lucky’s story.

I have to admit that I spent some time thinking about that, and whether I should tone it down. I also spent some time reflecting on my feelings about the story and realized that I was far more proud of it than I was too shy to let others see it. Eventually, I talked myself into sending it off to my Betas and received some great advice on how to tighten it up and even out the character interactions. I’m almost finished with those changes actually, and expect to have the story ready to submit in about two weeks.

See, that’s where the BDSM conference came in, because yes, Lucky’s story went there and more than once, and I was only about 80 % certain I’d done it right. So off I went with my messenger bag and suitcase, on the bus to Everett to learn what I needed to learn to polish up my manuscript and man, am I glad I went, because I learned so much more than that.

It took a day and a half to get there, time enough to draft most of the plot of a new story. I thought of kicking my muse, damnit, I already have several works in progress, but never look a gift muse in the mouth I guess, I’ll just have to keep my hands off those notes until my other WIPs are done.

Getting into Everett at roughly 11pm meant I was starving and tired and debating which was more important. Thankfully Dennys was right across the street from the hotel, which is exactly where I headed after I’d checked in and dropped my things off in my room. A nice hot meal, a shower and a king sized bed, that was the perfect end to two days on the road.

Of course, unlike any sane person, there was no way I was sleeping in, I was up at 7 the following morning and the promise of a beautiful day sent me hurrying to find sweats and a t-shirt so I could go explore. I never did find a bookstore downtown but I did find an organic food store, grabbed some drinks to store in my hotel fridge, met some interesting people, saw the waterfront, found an awesome steakhouse for lunch and got inspired. So much so that by the time I got back to my hotel I was already working out the details of a short story for an anthology I’m hoping to submit to.

Of course this would be about the time the nerves hit, because now it was time to shower and actually go upstairs to the meet and greet and meet my fellow authors. I have to admit I stalled out on the elevator, had to detour outside for a smoke before heading up. Needed to settle my nerves a bit, ‘cause did I mention I suck at meeting new people? No, okay well, I just did.

It was a little intimidating at first, and I kind of froze at the door when Dr. Charlie answered it, but it wasn’t as scary as I’d built it up in my head to be and by the time we’d proceeded to the Bluewater distillery for drinks and snacks I had met some amazing individuals, one of whom would be my conference buddy all the way through to the end.

The drink they’d designed for us, the “Spank me,” was amazing, as was the conversation, which made it so much easier to look forward to the following day and more people. The conference kicked off with Dr. Charlie speaking about all of the things that were in store for us as well as the history of the conference, and then our Keynote speaker, Tiffany Reisz got up and shared some amazing bits of her life with us, and suddenly the prospect of spending the week surrounded by relative strangers wasn’t so daunting anymore.

The classes were amazing. Having the choice of which ones to attend meant that I could actually tailor my conference experience to the things that I was certain I needed to learn for my story as well as satisfy my curiosity about things I knew next to nothing about. Needless to say, I spent several evenings making notes and fleshing out ideas, because the thought of shying away from the subject matter flew right out of my head as soon as other characters started to speak up, wanting to tell me their kink filled stories.

The presenters Dr. Charlie lined up were wonderful about answering questions and in each class, there was as much practical demonstration as there was conversation. Before the weekend was over, I’d gotten to experience what it was like to be caned, flogged, whipped with a single tail, paddled, and a few other interesting experiences that will all go into upcoming pieces of work.

For me the conference tore down walls I was hiding behind, letting fear of what others would think of me for writing what I wanted to write color what the characters were actually doing. I left feeling empowered and free of those fears and ready to tell the stories I’d been dying to tell. I’m sure there will still be blushing while words are flowing onto the page, but it’s nice to know that feeling of indecisiveness and the need to censor myself is gone.

For a first writing convention experience, it was phenomenal. I am so glad that I was able to shove fear aside and go. I left with some wonderful contacts willing to answer questions that might pop up while I work, and a wealth of new information that will allow me to delve deeper into scenes and characters than I previously would have been able to. I, for one, will be attending this conference again, and any others that I can afford to get to that are workshop heavy. It is absolutely mind blowing what one can learn in just a few days. 

Sure it took three days to get home (wtf seriously they couldn't send me back on the same route they sent me out there? grumbles) but it gave me time to catch up on sleep and work on stories so I suppose its all good in its own way. Certainly well worth the experience.