Coming January 27th, 2020
Good Afternoon, Ryker. I want to thank you for agreeing to
sit down with me today.
No problem. The sky looks like it’s gearing up for
another storm anyway. I’d rather be in here with the fireplace and music than
outside slogging through the snow.
I’m guessing you’ve had enough of the snow for the time
being.
I wouldn’t say that. Winter has always been my favorite
season. The pond has frozen over beautifully and there are a few trout in there
that owe me a rematch. Maybe this time the little bastards won’t make off with
a free meal.
Does that happen often?
Wouldn’t be any fun if it didn’t.
So, you like the challenge, then?
Of course. What’s the point of doing something if there’s
no effort required?
Point taken. So, what would you say would be the best way
you could spend a weekend or any free time you might have?
Doing something physical, preferably involving water in
some way. Swimming, fishing, canoeing, ice hockey, whitewater rafting, I’ve
climbed frozen waterfalls, gone cage diving to watch sharks and even done some
waterfall kayaking when the opportunity arose. Suffice it to say I like the
thrill and the hints of danger involved.
And yet, you balked at the idea of joining the polar bear
club when Jesse suggested you join him in it this year.
Freezing sensitive parts of my anatomy is not something
I’d classify as a thrill.
Even when there’s a chance a certain blond rocker might see
fit to help you warm them back up again?
There is that.
Given your love of thrill-seeking, I’m willing to bet there’s
little that scares you.
Not true.
Okay, then what’s your greatest fear?
Failing the people who depend on me and watching someone
get hurt because of something I failed to take into account. That’s why I spend
so much time running scenarios over in my head, jotting down the what-ifs and
possibilities until I’ve mapped out all of the potential outcomes and the risks
involved. There’s a fine line between risk-taking and challenging my physical
limitations and being reckless.
Is that something you had to learn the hard way, or was
there some early event in your life that shaped the way you look at things now?
A little of both, to be perfectly honest. I’m an only
child but being one of the oldest out of my many cousins taught me to have a
sense of responsibility for someone besides myself. Of course, as a kid, I didn’t
necessarily see that as a good thing. More like an annoyance and an unwanted
burden. I remember this one time my dad and my uncle Desmond sent Kyle’s older
brother Colin and I out to check the collection containers on the maple trees
we’d tapped. We’d only checked a few when Colin, who was about ten at the time,
started complaining that he was tired. Well, you know how teenagers are, moody
as fuck, and at thirteen I was no different. He wanted to take a break, I
wanted to hurry up and get done so we could go back to the cabin and play video
games. After we checked another tree he sat down and refused to budge, so I
left him there and continued on, figuring he’d either catch up or go back home.
Instead, he got lost and it was well after dark before someone found him.
Needless to say, I caught a spectacular lecture about all the things that could
have gone wrong and how bad the outcome could have been. I’m not sure who
yelled louder, my dad or my uncle, but they sure impressed upon me a sense of leadership
and accountability from that point forward.
Well, I’m glad the story had a happy ending.
You and me both.
It obviously still haunts you and knowing some of the other
things you’ve endured since then, I think it’s best to switch to a more upbeat
topic of conversation. Speaking of which, what would you say is the best way
someone could go about cheering you up when you’re down?
Just by taking my mind off whatever it is that has me
upset in the first place, which Jesse has a habit of doing without even trying.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have an unhealthy tendency to brood, so
something that can take me out of my head and drag me into the present goes
along way towards cheering me up, especially if it involves music and laughter,
which, ironically enough, are the two things that also comprise the most
embarrassing moment of my life. Something Kyle is very fond of bringing up.
He’s even shared it with Jesse, which I will eventually pay him back for.
Well, seeing as how you ripped the door off Pandora’s box,
you might as well share it with the rest of us.
Gee thanks.
Of course, I could always ask Kyle to spill it,
embellishments and all.
Talk about not playing fair. Fine. Shortly after Wild
Child’s second album, I happened to be spending the week at my aunt and uncle’s
the same time Kyle was home visiting. Seeing as how long, uninterrupted showers
are a bit of a luxury for me, I decided to indulge in one early in the morning
when I figured everyone else would still be asleep. I got so into it I started
singing some of the songs from the album. Butchering them, really, considering
I was trying to hit all of those high notes Jesse hits with ease. Imagine my
surprise and utter mortification when I stepped out of the bathroom to see Kyle
leaning against the wall across from the door, shit-eating grin on his face,
with his phone, in his hand, recording my efforts. No way was I letting him
keep that, so I took off after him when he bolted, the two of us running around
the island in the kitchen, Kyle playing keep-away with it just out of reach. In
my infinite wisdom, I decided to go over the island, figuring surprise and
athleticism would give me the edge. I forgot how fanatically my aunt Irene can
be about cleaning. Picture a cat on a pledge polished table, complete with arms
and legs windmilling and a spectacular belly flop onto the kitchen floor right
at Colin’s feet when he was sneaking in to return the carton of eggs he’d
‘borrowed.’ Talk about ending up with egg on my face, literally, and Kyle, that
little shit, made off with that recording. I just hope he doesn’t still have it
stashed away somewhere.
Well if he does, I’m sure he’ll bring it out at the most
inopportune time.
Tell me about it. Why couldn’t you ask about Kyle’s more
embarrassing moments, I’ve got a ton of those.
I’ll bet, though in all fairness, you did open the door to
that question.
Yeah, yeah.
Unfortunately, we’re out of time, but if it makes you feel
any better, I’ll be posing the same question to Jesse when we have him on the
hot seat next week.
And you best believe I’ll be tuning in to hear what he’s
got to say.
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