His phone tweeted, announcing the presence of a text. Sure
enough, he opened it to see a photo of Dez and Riley looking suntanned and
happy, rolling waves and a brilliant blue ocean behind them. He still found it
difficult to believe they were actually making it work. Between Riley’s habit
of self-sabotaging relationships by being overly jealous, possessive and
suspicious of everything his partner did, and Dez being, well, oblivious at
times and tight-lipped at others, they’d had some hurtles to overcome.
Learning how to communicate with one another helped
eliminate a good deal of them, and improve their ability to convey things to
the other members of the band as well. It had made them a stronger unit on
stage too, and those final performances before they’d finished their tour had
been some of the most amazing moment of Damien’s life.
Which only added to the crash like feel of days like this
one, when nothing had gone the way he wanted it to and he was sitting there
alone.
He missed the chaos of multiple voices speaking all at once,
ideas scrawled on scrap pieces of paper, the colorful flags stuck everywhere
from the windows to the back of someone’s pants after they’d accidentally sat
on one. There was an ebb and flow to touring that filled the nights with a
magical hum of energy and emotion, and the days with creativity and the
exhilaration of ideas clashing, swirling and melding together. Down time meant
silences that even songs on the smart speaker couldn’t fill.
It didn’t help that there were a dozen different ideas ping-ponging
around in his head, all jockeying for his attention with such intensity that it
was difficult to narrow his focus down on just one. He needed a way of dialing
back his thoughts and cooling off his temper if he was going to have any hope
of accomplishing something.
Ice cream carton empty, he pitched it in the trash, then rolled
a couple pre-shower blunts before heading to clean up. Even a cool shower
didn’t relax him. If anything it left him shivering and restless by the time he
stepped naked into his bedroom to light one of the blunts he’d left on the
rolling tray. The spicy scent of shower gel clung to his skin, and he made a
note in his phone to order some more since he was running out. Not smelling
like ass anymore was an improvement, and as he lit the first blunt and let the
smoke curl into his lungs, he felt some of the tension in his neck and
shoulders finally easing.
Maybe what he needed was to relax and veg out for a little
while, pull up a movie on the streaming service app, and stop thinking about
all the things that weren’t going the way he wanted them to.
What was it going to be tonight?
His typical fare ranged from psychological thrillers and slow-paced
dramas to murder mysteries with complicated twists. Of course, on the road he
tended to watch whatever the majority chose, which meant three-headed sharks,
animated adventures, and films where everything went boom. A small smile
creased his face when he thought back to that final night alone in a motel room
with Kane. He’d been skeptical when Kane had claimed the remote and promised
that Damien would enjoy what he had planned. Reluctantly he’d acquiesced and sat
back against the headboard, waiting to see what Kane had in store for him, and
much to his surprise, he hadn’t been disappointed. In honor of that, he decided
to choose something along those same lines, hoping it would be at least half as
good as ???
Chirping bird song echoed from his phone again, signaling
another text. Maybe it was a dick thing to do, but he ignored it, not in the
mood to see whichever smiling couple had decided to grace him with a record of
their adventures.
Tomorrow he’d look, maybe even text back and ask what they
were up to, though he was sure it was more snorkeling, swimming, unearthing
rocks, ziplining, and whatever the hell else caught there fancy during their
travels.
Okay. His bitterness was beginning to show and it wasn’t a
good look on him. He knew that but since he was still sprawled naked and alone
with only his blunts for company, there was no one to point out how shitty it
was that he was jealous of his friends. Tomorrow, after a long night of
mellowing out, he’d maybe even enjoy what it was they had to share with him,
but right now he couldn’t find it in himself to give a shit.
On the screen, (share what is unfolding) So far it showed
promise, so he inhaled another lungful of smoke and settled in to enjoy it.
Slowly, over the course of the next hour, his phone went off
three more times, until finally, he shoved it beneath a couple pillows in an
effort to ignore it.
He should have just turned it off.
Twice more it notified him of a message, the second time
coming right in the middle of a climatic scene. Groaning, he retrieved the
phone, unlocked it and started to turn off the notifications, when it pinged
again, he caught sight of a familiar name at the top of the screen.
Bad Puppy.
In an instant he went from annoyed to curious, pressing on
the message to see that all the times his phone had dinged had been from Kane.
As he scrolled through them, he got the sense that Kane’s mood wasn’t any
better than his at the moment.
Hey, you busy?
Guess you must be. Hit me back when you have a chance.
Tried that cheese steak place you told me about. How the
hell did I never know about it, it and I’ve lived here all my life. Holy shit
were they could. Finished off with a slick of cookies and cream cheesecake and
I think its spoiled ever other flavor for me.
You been working on new music? I keep trying but the
interruptions are almost non-stop these days. I really need to find my own
place, coming back to my nan’s place was a bad idea. I love seeing her but the
rest of the family is getting on my nerves. Everyone wants something and my
time hasn’t been my own since I stepped through the door. Only way I got to
slip away tonight was with a promise to bring home hoagies for everyone.
Have you guys started talking about the trip out to
Rocktoberfest yet? Was wondering if you wanted to crash in our RV since Tripp
will be in yours? I promise I won’t pester you too much.
Or at all, if you don’t want me to. I know I can get on
people’s nerves.
Shit, the way I’m blowing up your phone tonight that’s
prolly what I’m doing now. Sorry. I’ll stop.
Kane stopping was the last thing Damien wanted. As the end of the movie unfolded on the screen, Damien realized that he didn’t give a shit how things turned out. Kane has been on his mind all day now and the fact that the man had text, not just once, but multiple times, was deserving of more than just a couple words response. Besides, it seemed like he could use a friendly ear, and if nothing else, Damien could be that for him if he needed to vent. Mind made up, he hit the phone icon to call him, his stomach doing a funny little flip flop in anticipation of hearing his voice.
Time melted with each lap he swam. It seemed like the stars
were getting closer, or maybe it was just that he’d stared at them so long his
concept of space had narrowed. Was almost like sliding into a kaleidoscope,
only nothing was splitting and refracting against the glass.
It was the shrilly screaming of his phone that jarred him
out of his blissful nothingness and left him floundering in the pool, treading
water and swiping at his face as water dripped down it. He didn’t have to reach
the phone to know who it was, he had special ringtones for each of his
bandmates and Ozzy’s voice announcing All Abord before the intro to Crazy
Train was reserved purely for Hawk.
Heaving himself out of the pool into the cool night air,
Kelly shivered all the way to the phone, dripping on the screen as his fingers
slipped several times before he got it open.
“Hawk…what…” Aaron began before he was abruptly cut off.
“How the fuck could you just walk out on the band like
that!” Hawk snapped, voice so loud he might as well have been standing poolside
with him.
“I didn’t walk out on nuthin’! Kelly kicked me out.”
“For being a dick, I’m sure.”
“For being honest! For fuck’s sake, Hawk…”
“Are you forgetting I was listening in on the audition tapes
too?” Hawk interrupted. “There’s no fuckin’ comparison. Hands down, Micah and
Declan outplayed everyone, especially Kazzy. So if you’re on a Kazzy kick
‘cause he’s somehow talked you back into his bed, again, then you can forget
what we talked about the other night. It won’t be happening, not when you come
visit or ever again.”
“Jesus, fuck, where did that come from!”
“Hearing that you seriously want to have Kazzy of all
people, out on the road with you! It’s hard enough for you to keep your shit
together as it is, having him around on the daily will be like tossing a hand
grenade in a firework factory.”
“I wasn’t thinking about fucking Kazzy when I said we should
have him play.”
“Then what were you thinking about?”
“That he knows us, man, and we’re already chill with one
another. Wouldn’t be an issue getting used to having him around ‘cause he’s
around anyway, whenever I pop down to Shananagins.
“Which should be as infrequently as possible considering
your supposed to be staying sober, not storming through a place where it’s as
easy for you to get shitfaced as it is to breathe!”
“If Ray told you….”
“All Ray said was that you’d been in there several times a
week shooting pool and hitting the stage with Kazzy and his cover band, which
he appreciates, ‘cause people show up there hoping to see you, but that doesn’t
mean he doesn’t notice you eyeing those bottles like a starving man, even if
all you’ve asked for was root beer.”
“And let me guess, even if I asked for something harder, he
wouldn’t give it to me.” Aaron spat.
“No, he’d give you whatever you wanted, but I can guarantee
he’d tell me about it too, which, like the Kazzy thing, would also be a
dealbreaker.”
“You keep talking like we’ve worked out something in the
first place. All you’ve given me is a whole lot of maybes and we’ll sees. When
are you gonna give me a straight fuckin’ answer! Will you give us another shot
or not?”
“I’ve given you the only answer I can right now. What you do
with it is on you. I didn’t call you to talk about us. I called to talk about
the band and you giving up before you even got started.”
“There is no band! Our band is gone. Dead. Buried. The earth
has been salted, there is no room for resurrection, you know this. What Kelly’s
wanting to do, that has nothing to do with what we created. I don’t see how he
expects to play any of the old songs without you. No one can sing them like you
do.”
“Bullshit. You can, so stop lying to yourself, me and Kelly!
I’ve fucking heard you. I know what your voice sounds like when you’re not
trying to hide it, so cut the shit and tell me what the real issue is here so
we can solve it and get on with the business of making music like we’ve always
done.”
“Only it won’t be like we’ve always done it, ‘cause you’re
gone, Ethan’s gone, and Justin fucked right the hell off and told us all to go screw
ourselves, remember?”
“How could I forget,” Hawk grumbled, the harshness in his
tone bleeding to something melancholy and lost.
“Look, that was on him, not you. You’re doing the right
thing.”
“Then how come I feel like I’ve ruined my best friends lives
in the process?”
“Because Justin was a dick and said that shit to you.”
“Can you honestly tell me you haven’t been thinking it too?”
Sighing, Aaron wished he could reach through the phone and
hug him, ‘cause it sure as hell sounded like Hawk needed one right now. “Not
once, okay. Not one single time. I support you completely. The kids need you way
more than we do. Your brother entrusted them to you for a reason. He knew you’d
do right by them and give them all the joy and love they deserved, so quit
thinking we’ve all turned against you, especially me. I wouldn’t have offered
to help you with them if I was against you doing it.”
“Both of us didn’t need to quit making music. They’re my
family. My responsibility.”
“Funny, I thought I was your family too, only the first time
something came along to truly test that, you threw up a wall and cut me loose.
Thanks for that, by the way, it feels fuckin’ shitty.”
“Tell me that isn’t what’s going on out there,” Hawk
growled, the weariness giving way to pissed off again.
“You’ll have to be more specific, since there are a lot of
things going on out here, most of all me missing the hell out of you! So which
one are you referring to?”
“You did not fuck things up with the new band hoping that
would miraculously change things between us.”
“Told you once already, I didn’t do anything. Kelly was the one who told me to leave, which in hindsight, was the best thing he could have done since I never should have been involved in the project in the first place,” Aaron said. “If all you called to do was threaten to hold our nonexistent relationship over my head, then fuck you. I don’t need it and I don’t need you!”
“We’re pretty open to anything that doesn’t involve blood, scat, or someone getting arrested,” Robbie said.
“Damn, and here I was hoping for a quicky in the back of a squad car tonight.”
Smoke erupted from
Kayden’s mouth, propelled by a coughing fit that prompted Jagger to pluck the
bong from his hand and hit it, letting the smoke coil deep in his lungs and
settle there. In the back of his head he recalled Draven’s words about never
having smoked until after the accident, to preserve his instrument.
Jagger understood the importance of not overindulging, but he’d been longing
for the mellow tranquility of good bud all afternoon.
Today’s session
had been the best one yet and the first time he’d made it through the entire
day without mimicking anything.
“Have you ever
actually had a quicky in the back of a squad car?” Kayden asked, sounding
skeptical.
“Would you believe
me if I said yes?”
“Depends. I’m
going to need more details before I make up my mind as to whether you’re
bullshitting me or not.”
“You know what
they say about the offspring of preachers, teachers, and cops; it really is a
bit of a religious experience, getting a blow job in front of a stained-glass
window. As for the cop’s son, he just wanted to piss off his old man in as many
ways as possible. Leaving a dirty condom in the backseat took the least effort
of anything else he came up with and let me tick off a box on my bucket list
too.”
“Wait, you mean
you actually had fuck in the backseat of a patrol car as a bucket list
item?” Kayden asked.
“That you sayin’
you don’t?” Jagger asked just to see the look of skepticism morph into one of
shock and admiration.
“What else is on
that bucket list you no counting bastard. Stoners everywhere will tell you it’s
puff, puff, pass. Not puff, puff, puff, wait until someone snatches it away
from you. Why you gotta fuck with tradition?” Robbie asked, reaching for the
bong after Jagger had taken his third hit.
“Hey, I was just
making sure Kayden’s second hit didn’t go to waste. He only took one before
coughing up a lung all over the place, so while the rule is technically
puff, puff, pass, there is a little known but still perfectly acceptable
practice of carry over at play here.”
When Robbie
laughed, it made his eyes look brighter and pulled some of the burned skin
tight along the side of his face. It didn’t take anything away from how
attractive he was though, or how badly Jagger wanted to get up close and
personal with his naked flesh.
“No way in hell
you didn’t just make that up,” Robbie said.
“Call Johnny,
he’ll tell ya.”
“Oh hell no!”
Kayden cut in. “That fucker could sell a quart of sand in the desert and have
you thanking him for the privilege of taking your cash.”
Before Jagger
could site several other examples of Johnny’s chicanery, he was spun around,
Robbie’s hand gripping the front of his t-shirt as he yanked Jagger towards
him. The moment Robbie mashed their lips together, Jagger opened his mouth,
eagerly receiving the smoke Robbie shotgunned him and Robbie’s tongue chasing
after it.
“In case it wasn’t
made clear enough to you, this is me saying game on.” Robbie growled
before kissing him again.
Jagger’s head was
reeling both from the weed and the intensity with which Robbie kissed like he
was trying to climb inside Jagger’s body and curl up deep inside him. He barely
had time to process just how good those sensations were, when he felt the press
of Kayden’s body against his back. Kayden’s fingers swept Jagger’s hair back
from the nape of his neck, and his teeth, fuck, it was even better this time
than when they’d been sitting on the back of his bike.
A shiver tore down
his spine. His breath escaping in a hiss devoured by Robbie’s lips when Kayden
bit him again, then soothed the sting with his tongue. He kept finding all the
sensitive spots along Jagger’s neck and shoulders that reduced him to a whining
mess.
“Now it’s my turn
for questions,” Robbie growled as he grabbed the hem of Jagger’s shirt and pulled
it up over his head.
“Anything!” Jagger
gasped.
“Are you sure
about that?”
