Chuckling,
Derrick lowered himself gingerly to the ground and got comfortable leaning
against a stout tree. “Was glad to see the book group was still up and
running.”
“I
was glad to see you show up. Shocked you didn’t mention it at the bar.”
“Was
too busy getting drunk.”
“Ugg,
don’t remind me. That still ranks as one of the top five hangovers I’ve ever
had in my life. I can’t believe you weren’t feeling it in the morning, even a
little bit.”
“Not
even a smidge.”
“You
suck.”
“Yeah,
you mentioned that when you were moaning into the phone the next morning. Guess
you weren’t one for frat parties and the whole drunken college experience.”
“Oh,
believe me, I got drunk, plenty of times, but it had been awhile since I’d
drank that many. Pretty sure my tolerance has dropped considerably since I hit
thirty.”
“Yeah,
‘cause that’s ancient. Next thing you know we’ll be sitting on a park bench
talking about our glory days on the football field and how todays generation
doesn’t understand what it’s like to walk to school uphill, both way, in a
snowstorm, barefoot, with frost giants chasing them.”
Mason
snorted, then busted out laughing, doubling over he laughed so hard.
“No
one ever said anything about frost giants,” Mason managed once he could speak
again.
“Yeah,
well, we’ll need to make it seem more strenuous then previous generations did
if we’re going to have any hope of topping their claims, so frost giants it is.
Figured I’d stick with the whole winter motif and maybe the young
whippersnappers will get the point.”
That
just left Mason laughing harder, so Derrick stared off over the falls until
he’d found his composure again.
“No
one uses the term young whippersnappers anymore, even around here,” Mason
pointed out.
“The
maybe it’s time for a resurgence.”
Snickering,
Mason shook his head. “Either way, when those kids came through the door for
story hour Thursday Morning, I popped two Advil and retreated to the second
floor. Spent an hour and a half in the reference section making sure everything
had been returned to it’s proper place.”
Now
it was Derrick’s turn to laugh. “Lightweight.”
“I
prefer to keep my faculties about me. Saves on those instances of saying or
doing dumb things.”
Now
that gave Derrick a moment of pause. Maybe this wasn’t the right time to ask,
but Mason had thrown open the door and like a stampeding wildebeest, Derrick
decided to plunge right through.
“You
mean like telling me you’d loved me and missed me,” he asked, eyes locked with
Mason’s.
He
watched his former best friend sigh and pick at his nails.
“You
heard that, huh?”
“Yeah,
kind of fumbled around to get the garage door open and by the time I did, you
were gone.”
“Decided
to try and burn off some of that alcohol with a jog,” Mason replied. “Figured
I’d either pass out on someone’s lawn, puke my guts out in their trash can, or
drag myself to my door. Either of the three were better options than having to
look you in the eye after saying that.”
“Why?”
“What
do you mean, why?”
“Just
wondering if it was the booze talking or you actually meant it.”
“I
meant it, just hadn’t intended to tell you, especially not that way, so can we
drop it?” Mason asked, as he scooped up a rock and hurled it over the edge of
the falls.
“Only
if you let me say something first.”
Growling,
Mason hurled another rock, an edge to his voice when next he spoke. “Fine, go
ahead.”
“I
missed you too. Missed what we shared. You wanted to know why I didn’t write
you? Didn’t want you to try and talk me into coming back. Between you and my
folks, I knew you’d break me down sooner rather than later. I…”
Sighing,
Derrick rubbed the back of his neck.
“If
I’d known where you were, I would have gone and gotten you. Fuck letters, I
wanted you to look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t want to come back. I
wanted you to have to look at me before you left me.”
“If
I’d told you, if I’d looked you in the eye and tried to tell you I wouldn’t
have gone, and I…”
Again
he paused, sucking in a deep breath before continuing on. “…I thought I needed
to go. Turned out the reasons I had were wrong. I should have stayed.”
“Yeah,
you should have, but, you’re home now, and we’re not kids anymore, we’re too
old for bullshit and games. I loved you. A part of me will always love you. I
wanted you with me. I wanted us to be together and hell, maybe we’d have fallen
apart the same as me and Billy, or maybe we’d have made it. I’d like to think
we’d have made it.”
“I
loved you too,” Derrick softly admitted. “I didn’t realize it then. Think it
took me years and several meaningless hook ups to get it through my head that
it was better when there were emotions involved and some kind of basic
connection that went further than playing twenty questions online. I’m sorry I
ruined what we had.”
Turning,
Mason shifted so he was facing him, fingers still toying with the rocks in the
dirt.
“Could
have just as easily been me who ruined it, who knows what would have happened,”
Mason replied.
Another
moment when he wavered between the inner voice telling him to shut the fuck up
and cut his losses and the sudden urge to ask a question he wasn’t sure he’d
like the answer too. Would he ever learn? Oh well, Mason was the one who’d said
they were too old for bullshit, so once again, he took the plunge.
“Think
it’s too late to try again?”
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