Sunday Snippets: Gemini's Rogue: Every time we've ever touched

 

“I wish you wouldn’t flirt with me,” he groaned, pulling away fast and putting distance between them.

“Why?”

“Because you don’t mean it,” Rogue grumbled from somewhere off to the left of them. “Just go ahead and open your eyes, and look, really look around.”

Gemini did, blinking at first at the brightness of the sun, then looking out over the rolling fields with the forest at its edges, the blue, blue sky, the red tail hawk swooping low and the buzzard circling in the distance. In that moment, Gemini could see what it looked like through the eyes of someone who’d never experienced any of the negative memories associated with the place. Through Rogue’s eyes, as he stood, half turned away from them, gazing off into the distance. It was beautiful, truly, amazingly beautiful, and the more they thought that way, the more they wanted to sweep the old memories from every corner of the land and replace them with something special and new.

“You’re right,” Gemini said softly, stepping back up beside him again. “It is beautiful. I shouldn’t let myself forget that just because I’m still angry with my father.”

“No, you shouldn’t, especially when he isn’t even here anymore to know that you’re upset with him. Why give the dead that much power over you?”

“I-I guess I never thought about it that way.”

“Well, maybe you should. You’ve got something awesome here, something most people can only dream of. Hell, it’s something I can only dream of. Thank him, toast his passing, and move on, he has, they all have. Life’s too short to waste it on people who never really gave a damn in the first place.”

Gemini bristled, instantly on the defensive.

“How would you know he didn’t give a damn!”

“People who give a damn don’t hurt the people who love them.”

Those simple words took all the spark and fire out of Gemini, who sagged and hung their head. “I just wish he could have loved me for who I am.”

“Don’t.”

Cocking their head, Gemini gazed up at him to find him staring down with contemplative eyes.

“It’s a waste of time, don’t bother, wishing doesn’t change things,” he said softly. “I used to wish for a lot of things, none of which has ever came true.”

“That shouldn’t mean you stop wishing.”

“Maybe. But it does mean I stopped wishing for impossible things.”

“Who’s to say what’s impossible,” Gemini asked, feeling themselves bristle again.

“Wishing your old man had loved you for who you are is an impossible dream, ‘cause he’s dead and he can’t love anything anymore.”

“Yeah, well your family is alive, what’s their excuse for not loving you!”

Rogue flinched and Gemini instantly regretted their words.

“I-I shouldn’t have said that, I…”

“No,” Rogue barked, his words harsh, choked, his fists tight at his sides. “You’re right, they don’t, they never have, they never will. I can’t change that, which is why I gave up wishing for it a long time ago.”

He stalked away then, but Gemini couldn’t leave it be. They ran after him and caught his arm, half expecting him to throw a punch. The last thing they ever expected to see was fat tears rolling in thick lines down his cheeks. He was trembling beneath their fingers and when they pulled him into a hug he didn’t resist, instead, he wrapped his arms around them and clung, shaking, sobbing, the force of it bringing him to his knees and dragging Gemini down with him. It hurt, the impact with the ground and it couldn’t have felt too great on his knees either, but Gemini refused to let go. They hugged him and held him through the storm of his emotions, and when he calmed a bit and settled into occasional shakes and twitches, they stroked his hair and down his back, until he relaxed against them.

“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” Gemini said softly.

“Don’t be,” Rogue whispered, still holding on tight. “I needed that. I haven’t, not in a long time, and I just, it feels…”

“Relief,” Gemini supplied when Rogue’s words trailed off.

“Yeah.”

“There’s something you need to know,” Gemini replied, their hands still threading gently through his hair, enjoying the softness while he seemed relaxed and soothed by their touch. So soft, though this wasn’t how they’d have liked to answer that question.

“Okay.”

“It’s about why I flirt with you.”

“Don’t.”

“It’s not a lie.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“I’m not lying, Rogue. Look at me. Please.”

He raised his head, slow, hesitant, the distrust in his eyes unmistakable and it hurt Gemini’s heart to think that they had given him any reason to feel that he couldn’t trust them. They knew they had, years ago when they’d mocked him and outright accused him of all kinds of ulterior motives for trying to warn them off his brother.  

“I care for you,” Gemini admitted, holding his gaze. “I have for a long time and it made me feel ashamed because it was your brother I was married to. I’m intrigued by you. I’m turned on by you. This isn’t about my relationship with Randy. This is about you being here with me, and me wanting to know what happens if we just go with it because every time we’ve ever touched, drunk, high, sober or whatever, there’s been a spark like a lightning bolt and you feel it too, I know you do. No promises, no regrets, no bullshit, let’s just see what happens, okay? Maybe we’ll break each other a little more than we already are, or maybe we put each other back together again.”

“Fuck!” Rogue snarled and lunged, smashing their mouths together, the kiss all teeth and tongue and wild, clumsy aggression.

Gemini slid their hands up his sides and wiggled closer, kissing him back with just as much pent up, out of control emotion. Fingers grasping, legs tangling, they kissed until they lay breathless, holding each other in the dust.

“Someday,” Gemini said softly, as they caressed his face and brushed their fingertips over the lingering tears beneath his eyes. “I’m going to prove to you that you deserve only good things.”

“Someday,” Rogue remarked, leaning in to brush one last, lingering kiss against their lips, “I just might let you.”

Gemini's Rogue can be found here!

Growing up with a strictly religious father in a house with little joy, or love, left Grady Stoltz eager to get out. At the first opportunity that presented itself, they left home with a young man who swept them off their feet, used their preferred pronouns, and accepted that they were gender fluid and wished to shed the name Grady and all of the constraints of their former life. Dubbed Gemini, they never expected to return to that farm or the rural community they’d been raised in, but life took some unexpected turns, and they found themselves returning four years later. A little older, a little wiser, and the new owner of a house full of memories and regrets.

Cleaning the place up is only the first step towards deciding if they wish to sell it, or if they wish to stay and try and make a life for themselves in a place they’ve never felt as if they belonged. Haunted by the memories of the father who could never accept them, the mother they lost at a young age, and their own shortcomings and failures, they are in a very dark place when Rogue arrives.

Charismatic when performing in front of an audience, yet shy and vulnerable when faced with the prospect of being alone in a crowd, Rogue seeks shelter with Gemini on their middle-of-nowhere farm, hoping for a new beginning and a chance to see if the tiny spark that had flared between them once before, can be kindled into a roaring flame.

Two battered souls, one tattered farmhouse, an old dog, a cranky chicken, several misspoken words, and one crazed ex-husband combine in an explosive combination of truth, lust, dreams, and vengeance. Will the force of it tear Gemini and Rogue apart, or will it leave them closer than they ever dared to hope?